that time i walked away from everything and the world kept on spinning.

So one day the universe was like, Let's hit a point where we kind of figure out where things are going, how does that sound? And I was like, Kayyyy but after this episode of Sherlock. Cut scene to two years later and that episode morphed into full-blown seasons and I'm sheepishly peeking out from under my quilt and the universe is tapping its foot and looking at me sooo judgmentally. So obviously I haven't been the greatest human I can be and no amount of broken hearts (sigh) and pointless jobs (grrr) can excuse that.

When I tell people I'm moving to Montana to write (ps I'm moving to Montana to write) it's a little nerve-wracking but my mindset is that I actually don't care whether they understand why because it's been a long time coming and for the first time in 5 years I feel like I know what I'm doing. Can't deny your inner voice. Especially when your inner voice is your sister.

I think a lot about the kind of writer I want to be, in the published sense. I was at the grocery store recently when two indigents of the Jazzi scooter persuasion rolled up to a book display. The male-ish looking one screeched in utter disbelief and ecstasy, "Anne Rice has a new book??!!!11?!" Shiz got real in that moment, yo. If these people--yes, that's as judgy as it sounds, if not more. If only you could fully comprehend my capacity for judgment--could be motivated to read something by someone who can actually write, then we might have something here. My number one fear is being seen as a Stephenie Meyer. How terrible is that? I'm sure she's weeping into her millions of dollars about it. F'real though, I'm sensitive about my writing, more than any other aspect of myself. It's probably why it took me so long to get to this point. But I have ideas and I've been taught by some amazing people how to use them. I met up with my high school AP English teacher/friend this past Saturday. I've always looked up to her and she's a master at keeping it real, and she was really encouraging. As she said, Why the hell not?

So that is my mantra. Along with, You can always go home, and There's always show business.

only ninety-five more to go.

Recently I joined a Goodreads challenge to read a certain number of books in 2011. I originally committed to 200, but then I did the math (Natalie helped me) and realized I'd have to read a book a day for the rest of the year. Yikes. So I lessened my sights to 100 books. So far I have finished [only] five. Goodreads reminds me that at my current pace, I am 44 books, or 44% (did not do that math) behind. Oops. Better pick up the pace here!

Semi-segue: How much is this my child? (Minus the hipster leanings.)

Cara added it to our shared "Baby" Pinterest board and I loved it. Oh yeah!

So I'm committed to this goal. The trouble is deciding what to read next! I just finished my Sherlock Holmes collection (le sigh...it flew by) and am planning on starting a running book Natalie's letting me borrow. But I feel like I need to have one more in the mix. We'll see. Any suggestions?

two rules of dieting.

1. Don't have extra Reese's peanut butter cups from your free day lounging around in your pantry.
2. Don't diet.

Your Heart Is An Empty Room.

I have to admit: I daydream a lot. And I think sometimes this gets translated by other people as flightiness or ditziness. So I have a few new goals in mind, mainly two, which are (1) to not live in my own world so much and (2) to become a better speaker. I think I've got written expression down pretty well, but speaking has never been my forte, mostly because I'm usually trying to surface out of my own thoughts. Unless the conversation is really engaging; I have no problem then. I'm pretty sure I'm not at Paula Abdul incoherence status, but I know I've said some dumb, incoherent things before. I just tend to become disconnected if, er, I'm not interested.

In other news, I'm starting to dread packing so I keep putting it off. I just want to be there, dang it, and not have to go through the annoying part of air/tube travel. Oh well.
Also, I went to a show last night and re-fell in love with this artist, whose solo project is called Bellarayne. He was absolutely fantastic. Check out Cody's blog for a more eloquent explanation.