that time i walked away from everything and the world kept on spinning.

So one day the universe was like, Let's hit a point where we kind of figure out where things are going, how does that sound? And I was like, Kayyyy but after this episode of Sherlock. Cut scene to two years later and that episode morphed into full-blown seasons and I'm sheepishly peeking out from under my quilt and the universe is tapping its foot and looking at me sooo judgmentally. So obviously I haven't been the greatest human I can be and no amount of broken hearts (sigh) and pointless jobs (grrr) can excuse that.

When I tell people I'm moving to Montana to write (ps I'm moving to Montana to write) it's a little nerve-wracking but my mindset is that I actually don't care whether they understand why because it's been a long time coming and for the first time in 5 years I feel like I know what I'm doing. Can't deny your inner voice. Especially when your inner voice is your sister.

I think a lot about the kind of writer I want to be, in the published sense. I was at the grocery store recently when two indigents of the Jazzi scooter persuasion rolled up to a book display. The male-ish looking one screeched in utter disbelief and ecstasy, "Anne Rice has a new book??!!!11?!" Shiz got real in that moment, yo. If these people--yes, that's as judgy as it sounds, if not more. If only you could fully comprehend my capacity for judgment--could be motivated to read something by someone who can actually write, then we might have something here. My number one fear is being seen as a Stephenie Meyer. How terrible is that? I'm sure she's weeping into her millions of dollars about it. F'real though, I'm sensitive about my writing, more than any other aspect of myself. It's probably why it took me so long to get to this point. But I have ideas and I've been taught by some amazing people how to use them. I met up with my high school AP English teacher/friend this past Saturday. I've always looked up to her and she's a master at keeping it real, and she was really encouraging. As she said, Why the hell not?

So that is my mantra. Along with, You can always go home, and There's always show business.

i realize it's only august 18, and i don't want to wish the days away, but.

Minus the fuzzy boots. Very much missed the bus on that one.

i just really need you all to know right now, and understand what i'm going through.

I miss this town. La vie est trop difficile.

top ten tuesday: guilty pleasures.

Judge not, that ye be not judged.

Top Ten Tuesday: Guilty Pleasures.

1. Spending an entire Saturday reading in bed.
2. Cheetos.
3. Watching cartoons. (Adventure Time! Samurai Jack! Invader Zim! Family Guy.)
4. Daydreaming.
5. White birthday cake with lots of frosting.
6. Vin Diesel movies (The Chronicles of Riddick, xXx, Fast and Furious, The Pacifier, Babylon A.D., et. al)
7. $28 mascara. (Merci, Dior!)
8. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (Let’s just...not, ok?)
9. Men’s cargo pants.
10. And on the opposite end of #6, we have the BBC/Focus Feature oeuvre featuring Bright Star, Becoming Jane, and most importantly, North and South, with Richard Armitage as John Thornton (who is also going to be in The Hobbit. YUP.)

frak yeah.

I love this website: we heart it. These pictures (especially the ones under the "vintage" tag) always make me happy. And I want to model my fall look around this one I found on there:



I'll have my gray contacts and black hair and it'll be fantastic.

I also received a really nice compliment from a young man I may or may not think is pretty amazing. I told him thanks for being awesome and he said, "You enable awesomeness." Aw geez. We'll refer to him as Lovey in Las Vegas, herein after "LLV."

p.s. october, the best month of the year, is finally here! <3

Beauty, Thy Name is Joshua Radin.

Tonight Cara, Janae, and Tanner went to see Joshua Radin at In The Venue and, oh wow. Usually I can find some way to express myself but trying to do so after hearing this man's music live is near impossible. Never before has a show evoked such a strong emotional response in me; I'm talking full on teary-eyed emotion. He is extremely talented--one of my favorite songs of his he wrote when he was sixteen years old. Unbelievable. His, uh, extreme physical beauty even seemed a little superfluous after seeing him handle the guitar and amazing vocals.

Not that I wasn't aware of it from the beginning ;)

I love love love this man and anything musical his mind produces.

Ingrid Michaelson opened for him, along with an Alexa...something (I can't remember her last name), and they both had their share of talent. All in all, it was a good night--particularly the always-eventful post-show Denny's trip--and I'm happy to say I'm now a believer in the "mellow" show movement.