I need to stop thinking that some rotund gentleman wearing a linen suit and smoking a Cuban is going to add more hours to the day. Just for me.

I've been running around like a madwoman these past two weeks. It seems there's never enough time to get everything done and still pay homage to a little thing called sleep. Or, uh, life. The magazine has been taking up the majority of my time (I'm not telling you how many hours I've worked on it already this week because I know you'll just respond, "Hello? There aren't even that many hours in a week!" Yeah, it's that many). BUT the magazine is slowly emerging from its wallflower stage of homely awkwardness into being the belle of the ball that all the boys want to dance with. It's ridiculous how good this thing already looks, folks. And it's not even done yet. The thing is, I don't begrudge any of the time I've spent on it, class project or no. It has my name on it and that means more to me than any grade.

I've also been busy finalizing the topic of my senior English project. The class is loosely based on identity and rhetoric, which has given me a lot of leeway when deciding what to discuss. My first inclination was to expand on my Edith Wharton paper from two (or so) semesters ago that talked about female identity and the male gaze. But I was tired of it. My next thought was to talk about The Stolen Generation and Aborigine identity politics. Interesting, yes, but a book-length, dissertation-ish project, in all. I satisfied that craving by checking out a book called The Aborigine Tradition and it's become my bus reading. I'm totally fascinated by it, and it's just one of many examples of my need to learn about many different subjects. So finally, after much soul-searching, I decided to write on Dexter. I'm basing my research on the first season, and discussing "Blood and Being: The Ethics of Dexter's Dialectical Identity." Good, yeah? I'm excited. My professor's really excited too and wants me to try to get in published in a cultural or media studies journal, which would pretty much be my ticket to grad school if I decide to go that route in the future. I think getting published as an undergrad is a long shot, but I'm willing to try.

My other class, French and Italian Cinema, is going well. Haha...I can't say much more than that. I'm learning a lot, obviously. I got a 99 on the first test and have yet to get the first analysis paper back. I discussed The Ambivalence of Morality in Le Corbeau. I love that film. It has Pierre Fresnay who is just amazing (he also plays Captaine Boeldieu in Grand Illusion, another favorite). The best part of the class is the fact that Cara's in there too.

So in between all of this scholarly nonsense I'm still working my two editing jobs. I haven't been writing as much for Orange Soda just because of sheer time pressure, but I manage to eke out three or four articles a week. The index is also still in full swing; I just received my latest check for that, which gave me more motivation to keep going.

Quoi d'autre? Hm. Besides my Aborigine book, I bought and am halfway through Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose. It's so refreshing to read a book of literary and intellectual value that is still interesting. You can definitely tell Eco is a professor of semiotics, which I think makes the book even better. He's one of my favorite philosophers and evidently this book is really famous but I hadn't heard of it. Ha. I know nothing. But I highly recommend it to anyone who likes philosophy, metaphysics, and the politics of 14th-century Catholicism in their mystery novels.

Cara and I have made it a goal not to eat out so much; our wallets and bellies just can't take it anymore. As part of this goal, I made slow-cooker pork tacos, double-wrapped in corn tortillas with queso fresco, avocado, pineapple, red cabbage, onion, lime, and cilantro. To answer your question, yes, it was the most delicious thing I've ever made in my life. And yes, it was better and cheaper than a restaurant. Woot. So yesterday I made my secret-recipe spaghetti (I made it up and it's delicious) with caesar salad and garlic bread. Needless to say, we're eating like kings. Speaking of food, Cara and I--ok, it's mostly me--have a newfound obsession with the cream slushes at Sonic. I get watermelon, Cara gets strawberry. I think I'm tired of ice cream and chocolate and this fruity concoction is perfect. And inexpensive.

I received some sad news from my dad yesterday. My grandma had a small stroke on Monday and my mom says she probably doesn't have much longer to live. :( I will post more on my grandma later when I can get my thoughts together, but if you could keep her in your prayers I would really appreciate it.

Well, that's all I have so far. I apologize for the novel. Here are some band suggestions for you to check out: ZibraZibra, Junior Boys, Melpo Mene, Cloud Cult, The Softlightes, Oh No! Oh My!, and Apparat. Happy listening.

I'm not gonna lie.

This semester has been extremely hard--academically, physically, emotionally, and even somewhat spiritually.

I'm so grateful to have a mommy and a daddy who help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know everything will work out how it's supposed to, but it's good to have a reminder every now and then.

Really. Tights are not pants.

What the.

I-am-robot-do-not-respond.

I just love automated messages. I got one today that said "i-am-robot-do-not-respond." I sent one back saying "i-am-human-too-bad." My favorite automated messages are from BYU Financial Services that say "any response to this email will not be read or seen by a human." Scary. And funny.

And finally I just want to say that I love my baby brother. He is absolutely darling, and at 16, promises to be a major stud. He may be taller than me but he will always be my little Buddy. Today he sent me a text saying that the counseling center at his high school spelled "cafeteria" wrong. They spelled it "cafiteria." Only a brother of mine would catch that and send me a text bemoaning its existence. I love him so much. He takes care of me and is my best friend.

I just can't say enough...

about how much I love the rain today! It makes this whole past week of feeling sick worth it.

Kind of.

I'm feeling loads better today, thanks to my BFF Sudafed PE and an exorbitant amount of sleep. And slacking. Slacking is key. I chose my most important class (430: magazines) and focused on that. My other two classes have faded into the background somewhat for the moment. At least I have my priorities right. Our magazine is going to be amazing, I promise you.

L'existance.

One of my pet peeves is people who do or say things that make me regret opening up to them. It really does nothing for my quest to trust people. And it makes me feel dumb.

In other news, I'm pretty sure my French and Italian cinema professor used the phrase "fog of existence" at least 14 times in a twelve minute period yesterday. Cara and I have concluded that our new band name will be Existential Fog. Stay tuned for track listings.

Oh now I remember!

Ok, so Jan and I saw Doubt on Monday--amazing, seriously. We're still tripping over it, especially the more we think about it. I need to see it again to confirm my suspicions, because the movie does a complete 180 at the end that leaves you second-guessing the entire movie you just saw for the past hour and a half. Total mindblow.

And for those of you looking for listening suggestions on the album from my previous post, I recommend, "Robophobia," "Monsters," and "Bright Mouths."

Uhh...

I clicked on "New Post" and now realize that I have very little to say. Hm. I'm excited to go to Sundance on Saturday; I think we're going to see some awesome movies. Oh, and I want you all to listen to Electric President when you have the chance. Especially the album Sleep Well.

This is all.

Knit Night Cupcakes

I saw these ridiculously gorgeous cupcakes on this vegan blogger's page, and my jaw dropped. I'm a sucker for minimalistic beauty, which is exactly what these little gems embody. Aw. They make me wish I was into knitting so I had an excuse to make them.

It's only been two days.

This semester is off to a very rocky, depressing start.
I'm sad.