the world is open to us.

Lately I've had the nature of discontent on my mind--where does it come from, why does it effect some people more than others, and how do we combat it (should it be combated)? Why do people who have seemingly awesome lives still want/need more? This train of thought led me to wondering if the issue is with our own brains. I remember being, alas, so young and thinking I could and would do anything with my life. But now in my bitter old age I'm wondering how someone could be so idealistic and naive.

But the thing is, the world doesn't get any less open, the possibilities any less endless as we grow older. I think what changes is inside of us. For whatever reason, we become closed off to the idea that we can make a difference and effect change in the world.

It seems I've been shackled down by the phrase "I want _____________, but I can't because ____________________." Really? I think that if I actually took the time to analyze the second half of the statement and find out where it comes from I would be more on my way to being a better person.

One of my favorite authors, A.J. Cronin, wrote an essay entitled, "The Turning Point of My Career." And something he said really stuck with me:

"The virtue of all achievement is victory over oneself."

This speaks to how the only thing stopping us from having what we want is ourselves, our way of thinking, etc. I also really like this story about Bruce Lee that Natalie had linked to her blog. It fit in with what I was already writing so I thought I'd share it too.

On the reverse side, I think a little discontent is good for you because it means you're striving for better things. It's all in what you're discontent-ing for, I guess. Anyway, just some thoughts I had running around; nothing very coherent here. But I have to write these things down or else I lie awake thinking about them all night. And my co-workers know I need my sleep...

UPDATE: I am in fact only 24 and have a million awesome things left to do with my life. So there's that.

Meet Caiti. Love Caiti. Miss Caiti.

This is Caiti:

I've known this girl for 15+ years. Our families lived down the street from one another for about twelve of those. I love her like a little sis. Two weeks ago Cait married the love of her life and is now on her way to a fabulous adventure in another state! I'm so excited for her. But I wanted to say goodbye to her publicly and wish her well.

Some of my favorite memories with Caiti include the following:

1. Countless girl's camps, Young Women's activities, and ward adventures. (Good old Welby 5th Ward.)
2. Sitting on my parents' lawn during the summer and talking.
3. Dancing like crazy people in her parents' driveway in the rain. And having her mom catch us.
4. "Frenchables"
5. BARF!
6. Riding through the neighborhood, up on 90th by the library (before it became all legit with a "stoplight"), and up by the high school on a golf cart that Taco got from "somewhere."
7. Making movies with Jess's camera--Skye Park; Dancing to Chiodos, Fall of Troy, etc in the car; et al.
8. Driving around in Expedition, blasting hip hop, rolling down the hill at the high school.
9. The Jetta Incident.
10. My mom and her crying together, EVERY TIME. Those two.

And countless others. Caiti is awesome; she's a real person, she's true to herself, and she is hilarious. I love her unique outlook on life and will miss having her face around! Love you Schmatey!



At a football game.


Us at a girl's camp. Not prison camp, as our outfits would lead you to believe.

top ten tuesday.

A newly instituted event here at FS will be a randomly selected top ten list published each Tuesday, in which I foist upon you my very biased but thoughtfully selected tops. Each list is carefully guarded by a strict code of moral conduct, created by yours truly. (Because I can't plan for every contingency. And I make the rules here, on this my blog.) This week:

Top 10 Albums.

Here are the rules:
1. Each album is selected based on its playability all the way through. (Visceral reaction is important.) I'm looking at these as a whole; so while some songs, while awesome in themselves, weren't enough to pull through the rest of the album. We're talking start to finish, here.
2. No movie/musical/TV show soundtracks. This could be another top ten by itself, ya know?
3. Only one collection of greatest hits allowed.
4. Other than that, the sky's the limit.
5. Nickelback automatically makes the cut. (I'm kidding. But seriously...no I'm kidding. But really.)

Rachel's Top Ten Albums of April, 12, 2011

1. Ghost, Radical Face
2. Rotten Apples, Smashing Pumpkins
3. Morning View, Incubus
4. Silent Alarm, Bloc Party
5. Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, My Chemical Romance
6. American Hearts, A.A. Bondy
7. Give Up, The Postal Service
8. A Rush of Blood to the Head, Coldplay
9. Absolution, Muse
10. Wreckorder, Fran Healy

I'd be interested to hear what your top ten (or any number) would be, so let me know.

scenes from the weekend.

1. MCR at In the Venue. We were a lot closer than this picture makes it seem, but at least you can see Gerard's red hair in this photo. (Thanks to Derek!)
2. Pretty little maids all lined up in a row. Those three shirts represent 10 years of blood, sweat and tears.
3. Ultimate nachos! What better food to eat during...
4. ...a Tron-athon.
5. It finally stopped snowing long enough to give us a cool sunset.
6. New Food Network Magazine. If they know what they're about, they'll have more Ina recipes this month.
7. Oh that? That's just my bed, being a temptress before church.
8. Spring pink nails.
9. Dress, tights and boots. Tights=someone didn't shave their legs in time for church...

Ca c'est tout. Bonne nuit!

pure, unadulterated love.

Tonight was the MCR show. And of course I was reminded of just how much I love this darn band and the people who play in it. I love them with the purest form of love I know, similar to that of how I love my family. Yeah, they're kind of a big deal to me. Every one of their shows I've been to has transcended any other creative venture I've witnessed, and that's saying something. I love how they remake themselves anew with every album yet still remain true to their core mantra of always being yourself and not apologizing for who you are. From New Jersey to Los Angeles, I've followed this band since high school, and my love gets stronger every year. It's hard to put into words how much they mean to me and how much they have helped me through everything, the things I couldn't talk about but still needed to deal with. Their music said (says) it for me. Let's just say that some people take Prozac, but I listen to My Chemical Romance. This band helped me realize that life is worth living, and living well, and it helped me to figure out the things that are most important to me (family, church, creativity, being a Christlike person, etc) and I can't thank them enough. It's not just about the "music," it's the whole package. (Although the music is frakking sweet, let's be honest.) People who don't understand where I'm coming from might find this melodramatic or that they can't relate. All I'm saying is, for me this band can do no wrong. Haters gonna hate, but then hate always stems from ignorance.

Happy Birthday, G! I love you for your creativity, passion, drive, craziness, face, voice of a thousand sleepless nights, and most of all your self. Never stop running.

Anyone else want to go?

Leeds Festival, here I come.

welcome to fantasy land.

Oh boy. So I recognize the fact that I'm a pretty restless person as it is. But I CANNOT turn my mind off lately. I want to do this, or go here, and have that, until it seems I'm never satisfied with anything. I know that I have a pretty sweet life; I'm not discounting that. But sometimes I feel like it's not enough for me, and that's a little disconcerting. It might be possible to have too many interests and to want to experience too many things to the point where all you think about are the "if onlys" and forget to enjoy the present moment. That seems like an oxymoron, I think that makes sense. I'm a little amazed at how easily I get bored and move on to the next thing. [Relationship parallel alert.] If I had one goal in life it would be to stop living in my head so much. I think too much about things I can't control and not enough about what I can really do to make my life better.

Chalk it up to spring fever, I guess.


Is it weird that I imagine myself living in a place like this?

a room without books is like a body without a soul.

I've been planning to write this blog for a while, but I keep collecting pictures of book rooms and there seems to be no end in sight. So I've whittled down my collection to a few of my favorites to show you here. I want to create a book room--as opposed to a "library," which implies to me the books are bought and never read [see as example the estate sale Natalie and I went to. A thousand books and some still in the wrapping]--in my office. Thus the collecting of book room pictures. I want it to be cozy, feel like a real den. A nest, almost. A place that is an escape before you even crack open a novel and begin reading.

Plus I'm tired of my office being the catch-all room. It's not like an episode of Hoarders, or anything resembling that. It's just not awesome, and I can't have that.

Now for some photos that are my inspiration!






I especially like the second one. I'll keep you updated on the progress.

Speaking of books, last night I had the opportunity to hear Clarence play with a band called Book on Tape Worm. They are really amazing, to say the least. The singer's voice melts butter and they have really unique lyrics/harmonies. The fact that they have a song that mentions Ender's Game doesn't hurt either. I like them so much I plan on donating an exorbitant amount of money on their Kickstarter page to help them record an album. So worth it.

polyvore: classic and feminine.

classic and feminine by lambskin featuring leather heels

polyvore: great smoky mountains.

great smoky mountains by lambskin featuring post earrings

I made this on polyvore.com. My closet needs this outfit. If you click on the link to see the set on the website, you'll get to hear the music I chose to go with it too. Yay!