"A person who lacks basic knowledge of mathematics and arithmetic."
I always knew my disability had a name ;)
So...I have some potentially big news to announce here pretty soon. It's a little nerve-wracking but I'm really excited at the same time. I'll keep you posted!
2.17.2010
2.11.2010
Advanced New Study Reveals Link Between Newly Washed Cars, Rain, Snow, Sleet
Local woman Rachel “LQTM” Spohn has at last revealed a correlation between bad weather and clean cars.
In what researchers now call a thoroughly groundbreaking and highly scientific study of monumental import, Ms. Spohn has discovered a new way to accurately predict the weather—and she did it all with her car. “Well, I first noticed the phenomenon a few years ago; I would wash my car, and the next day it would rain, snow, hail, or any other combination of the three. When this continued to happen, I decided to track the effects of clean cars on the atmosphere,” Ms. Spohn stated.
After a conclusive study of two and a half months, Ms. Spohn found that 10 to 1, the weather became particularly volatile in the days following the washing of her car. In fact, the pattern has proved so predictable that scientists are hailing the findings as the first step toward a new age of weather forecasting.
Despite the acclaim, Ms. Spohn fails to see the bright side of her discovery.
“It just ain’t right,” she commented, an air of personal vendetta in her tone. “I just wanted to keep my car free of corroding salt and vicious road grime. A person can’t even live anymore without them [expletive deleted] clouds messin’ it up all the time.”
“Them clouds” refused comment, choosing instead to glower ominously in the sky above Mister Moochie’s Aloha Suds ‘n Spray Car Wash.
In what researchers now call a thoroughly groundbreaking and highly scientific study of monumental import, Ms. Spohn has discovered a new way to accurately predict the weather—and she did it all with her car. “Well, I first noticed the phenomenon a few years ago; I would wash my car, and the next day it would rain, snow, hail, or any other combination of the three. When this continued to happen, I decided to track the effects of clean cars on the atmosphere,” Ms. Spohn stated.
After a conclusive study of two and a half months, Ms. Spohn found that 10 to 1, the weather became particularly volatile in the days following the washing of her car. In fact, the pattern has proved so predictable that scientists are hailing the findings as the first step toward a new age of weather forecasting.
Despite the acclaim, Ms. Spohn fails to see the bright side of her discovery.
“It just ain’t right,” she commented, an air of personal vendetta in her tone. “I just wanted to keep my car free of corroding salt and vicious road grime. A person can’t even live anymore without them [expletive deleted] clouds messin’ it up all the time.”
“Them clouds” refused comment, choosing instead to glower ominously in the sky above Mister Moochie’s Aloha Suds ‘n Spray Car Wash.
2.03.2010
It is, in fact, Wednesday.
Fact: For 3/4 of the day, I was convinced today was Thursday.
Fact: It sure is not Thursday.
Lately I've been feeling like I need a change. Nothing big, just something different. So I'm not talking job change or anything; mostly I love my job, despite the fact that not even a dog could live on my paycheck. (Ok, maybe a little dog. One with no children and that doesn't mind eating off-brand kibble. And definitely cannot buy sweaters.)
Possible/feasible change options:
1. Ward.
2. Hair. (I want it long though...)
3. Wardrobe. (As in redefining the meaning of the word overhaul.)
4. Boyfriend. (May in fact correlate with number one.)
5. Awesome vacation.
Ideas?
Until said change occurs, I think I can get by because of the following:
Jack McDevitt books, Kaboose tunes (esp. "Goin' Outta Control"), Taco Bell eats (seven layer burrito--thanks Kim!), my coworkers (enough said).
Hmm.
Fact: It sure is not Thursday.
Lately I've been feeling like I need a change. Nothing big, just something different. So I'm not talking job change or anything; mostly I love my job, despite the fact that not even a dog could live on my paycheck. (Ok, maybe a little dog. One with no children and that doesn't mind eating off-brand kibble. And definitely cannot buy sweaters.)
Possible/feasible change options:
1. Ward.
2. Hair. (I want it long though...)
3. Wardrobe. (As in redefining the meaning of the word overhaul.)
4. Boyfriend. (May in fact correlate with number one.)
5. Awesome vacation.
Ideas?
Until said change occurs, I think I can get by because of the following:
Jack McDevitt books, Kaboose tunes (esp. "Goin' Outta Control"), Taco Bell eats (seven layer burrito--thanks Kim!), my coworkers (enough said).
Hmm.
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