my mind wanders.

i swear every time i think of something to blog about, i lose it ten minutes later. and when i think i've finally remembered, i have no way of knowing if it's my original thought or not. brain is broken, perchance?

i feel very accomplished tonight, mostly because i cleaned my entire house, made brownies, and put together my other nightstand. i wish i could have also gone to the gym, but there's only so many hours, ya know? i will for sure be there on saturday so no worries.

here are a few things i've been thinking about. they are in picture form because i am a very visual person and it helps solidify these things jumping around in there.


first we have middle eastern design. i love the colors and the richness here. this has become one of my favorite mental escape places.


next we have steampunk. i honestly cannot get over it. if you know anything about me you know i go through phases with things, especially design. this one is no exception. the thing about steampunk though is when done right, it can be amazing and inspiring. but done cheaply or too over the top, it can look extremely Comic-Con and undesirable. here is another pic i like. don't know why both the ones i chose involve weapons. i'm not a violent person i swear (right rach b? lol).

i think i would need just one day dressed as either of these and i'd get my fix. i saw a skirt at dancing cranes that would be perfect bustled up with a lacy petticoat peeking through. just sayin. party anyone?


first of all, i want a pocketwatch (slightly related to previous topic, yes). second of all, i have never felt so much like time is not on my side as i have this past year. time is literally flying and i can't think of any feasible devious plans for catching more of it. and then i think of derek leaving on his mission in just a few short months and it makes me desperate for a few spare moments. please sir, i want some more time.


and last but not least: i like this because it does change every day. it's kind of a game and it's fun because it involves avoiding reality (which i love!) plus the men i love from afar. le sigh. among the many candidates is this man:


whom i affectionately refer to as g. yep, brown eyes and brown hair get me every time. :]

k i gotta go to sleep now, so peace.

heheheheHEHE.

between my freelance jobingtons and my full-time stint as a legal assistantress, i feel like all i've done lately is work. i do enjoy money. i do not enjoy blood-shot eyes and the feeling that the world has ceased to exist outside of my computer screen. it gives me a permanent and most unbecoming deer-in-the-headlights look whenever i do have the chance to pull my head away from the world of the interwebs and legal assistantship.

BUT HERE'S THE THING YOU SHOULD KNOW. i have accepted an offer to travel to london next spring with my cousin. this is in fact true. and my heart leaps up (name the reference, lit geeks) whene'er i think upon it. le sigh. there will also in all likelihood be a stopover in paris beforehand, depending on how early the people i'm traveling with want to go before the wedding they have to attend.

so even though my life revolves around a lifeless computer screen for the moment, i take heart in the fact that it is in pursuit of the one thing i love most in this world to behold: the sun setting over the houses of parliament and the clock tower as i'm standing on the bridge overlooking the thames, surrounded by a bustling, historic, crazy, endearing city. i give the above as visual reference. gets us through the days, you know?

so tell us rachel, how does it feel to have $--,---.00 in your bank account right now?

it feels great, pat. it really does. i want to thank the little people--mainly, the IRS, without whom this would not have been feasible. even after the crap they gave me for giving them ALL of the documents they asked for. and a thank you to my parents, for always encouraging me to take sweet, sweet advantage of the government whenever possible. a great lesson for us all, to be sure.

le sigh. :]

my favorite halloween costume ever.

halloween is my favorite holiday, along with the fourth of july and bonfire night. it's atmospheric and creepy and awesome. one of the reasons i love it so much is the chance to dress up and pretend you're someone--or something--else. (i haven't been very good at this in recent years, honestly.) my favorite costume i've had was when i was in third grade. i as a witch. but that year i carried around my family's black kitten, Black Jack (or jackie-O for short. don't ask) as part of my costume. a witch isn't complete without her black cat, right? the best part was, during the parade of costumes where we all line up, as elementary kids and the Brits do (queuing up is a national pastime there), and walk around the school for the parents to take pictures and ooh and aah and compare their kids with other kids, i carried jackie and got to hear everyone gasp in amazement at my awesomeness and how cute my kitty was. yeah, i was kind of a big deal for thirty minutes. what makes that costume even more special for me is that just a few hours later on that same halloween, jackie was run over and we had to bury her in our backyard. i was pretty devastated. she was my first kitty. (we had yet to save dinter and his brother from the dumpster.) despite this sadness, i still love halloween and i look forward to many more to come. happy halloween!

the wanderer returned/ second stanza/ pablo neruda.

Time then does exist, I realize it.
I know it exists, but I cannot understand
how that city which had warm blood,
which had sky enough for all,
and whose midmorning smile
spread like a basketful of plums,
those houses with a forest smell,
wood newly cut at dawn with the saw,
the city that always sang at the water's edge
of sawmills in the mountains,
all that was yours and mine
of the city and its clarity
wrapped itself up in love, secretly,
and let itself fall into forgetfulness.

frak yeah.

I love this website: we heart it. These pictures (especially the ones under the "vintage" tag) always make me happy. And I want to model my fall look around this one I found on there:



I'll have my gray contacts and black hair and it'll be fantastic.

I also received a really nice compliment from a young man I may or may not think is pretty amazing. I told him thanks for being awesome and he said, "You enable awesomeness." Aw geez. We'll refer to him as Lovey in Las Vegas, herein after "LLV."

p.s. october, the best month of the year, is finally here! <3

uuuuummmmm.

I want this house.




The location may leave a little to be desired, but I can overlook that.

remember that time i made crepes for dinner and it was the best thing i'd ever done for myself?

(short of moving out of Utah County, that is.)

Tonight after work I knew I wanted to cook something really good for dinner--I saw a recipe for Lemon Risotto earlier today and that had me thinking of possible culinary concoctions I could enjoy after work. I also didn't want to stop at the grocery store so had to rely on whatever (scant) supplies I already had.

I originally wanted pancakes and eggs and got my cookbook out right when I got home so no more time would be wasted without some kind of delicious aliments in my belly. I got to the section that had pancakes, my eye landed on crepes first, et voila! Um, they pretty much are probably the most delicious thing ever, barring Jake Gyllenhaal. Luckily I had the basic ingredients on hand, and just filled them with whatever I had lounging in my pantry/fridge.

Here are a few of the combinations I tried:

-coconut, strawberry sauce, and chocolate chips
-brown sugar and sour cream
-Brie and apples
-peanut butter and chocolate

Next time I'll be more prepared and make a ham and cheese version. I tried that in Paris when I was there and it was about a 7.5 on the Richter scale of ultimate deliciousness. Yes I'll be living at the gym for the next few years, but what's a few calories compared to tastebud bliss?

annual craftiness.

I consider myself to be a creative person, but when it comes to "craft" projects I'm always a little hesitant. That being said, this past Saturday I went with Cara and my mom to a Relief Society activity in which we all pulled together little blocks of wood and paint with which to nest our little homes. I made--fashioned--these little wooden bats:



They're a little hard to see since I so professionally held up my computer camera to take a picture of them, but you get the idea. They make a nice addition to my mantle. Yeah they're Halloween decorations and it's only September but this is my favorite time of year so go cry somewhere else. It was a lot of fun and I liked being with just Cara and my mom. Afterwards we went to Tai Pan since Cara had a gift card there and wanted some fall decorations. I didn't really want to go so of course I left the store with a cute fall wreath for my front door, plus a picture and some bookends for my room. My poor, poor credit card. :(

In other news, I've finally gotten my lazy butt back to the gym. I had let my last membership expire but tonight Cara and I went to the Gold's by our houses and got me signed up again. Woo hoo! My body really appreciated the exercise. It feels good to be back and I'm glad Cub's so motivated to go because it helps me too.

So that's all the update I have for now. I have some potentially good news here soon, but I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to divulge until everything's final. Until then! Tu me manques!

la cucina.

This was my kitchen before I laid hands on it. (Hint: The word you're looking for is "unappealing.") Kinda makes you want to squirt lemon juice into your eyes, huh?



















And here it is after:
























Although, it's a little different now because there's a backsplash and other accoutrements behind the sink area, not to mention the wall by the dishwasher and fridge is fixed after the installers took their sweet time destroying it. And the cabinets are espresso, however black they may look in the photos. These pictures are old and I don't feel like taking new ones. I rather like my little modern kitchen. It's fun to cook in, especially with the gas stove. Sigh. C'est parfait, n'est pas? Le mot est oui.

Is it even so? then I defy you, stars!

I've been reading a lot of Shakespeare lately, mostly because I feel like even my college classes only skimmed the surface. And mostly because I don't have cable yet. Cough.

Many of his plays deal with fate and the role it plays in the lives of the characters. Which has led me to conclude that fate is a funny notion. (e.g. Romeo and Juliet--they were fated to be lovers and they relish that, but at the same time, Romeo doesn't want to accept the fact that Juliet was fated to die.) I find that if something good happens, it's easy to accept that it was "meant to be." But the same doesn't hold true for the opposite. When things don't go my way, it's harder to believe that it's supposed to happen that way. I believe that each person has things they were meant to do because of the talents and personality traits they were given. At the same time, though, I think it's dangerous to let a notion such as a single "destiny" drive your life and make you blind to what's real.

The analytical (read: dominant) side of me would enjoy sitting and dissecting everyday occurrences to decipher meaning and hidden bits of truth. And I could probably make meaning out of my life that way. Yet I've found that being lost in your own mind and inner "life" causes you to miss out on reality and life going on around you. And doing the above would make me a really boring and selfish person because I'd only be trying to discover what everything means for me. Real life doesn't happen that way and I'm now content to believe "Que sera, sera" and trust that it's for the better, no matter what.

i read too much poetry.

It is love that I am seeking for,
But of a beautiful, unheard-of kind
That is not in the world.


WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS, The Shadowy Waters

so, so tired.

that's all.

One random thing about me you may not know.

I love westerns. I really, truly do. Tonight I watched For A Few Dollars More. It didn't have the same impact on me as A Fistful of Dollars did, but it was still great--same director, same Ennio Morricone shenans, so it had that going for it. It's still one of the better spaghetti westerns. Um. Huh. K I'm bored now bye. Hope your 4th was wonderful!

(no subject)

Venus

Throat aching from the sight of you.

A city in the distance
domed, fluted, incoherent blur
of muted light from detached stars
whose glow approaches the edge of darkness
As if to dip their feet in the cold
silence before withdrawing,
shuddering into flinty discontent.

If only
I could map out the lines of your jaw with my finger
I would finger the short hair behind your ear
I should know how to say

the light is you.

room by room--living room.

Here are the befores of my living room:







And here are the afters:


















And that's all I'm doing for now because I'm tired.

J'aime ma maison. (Beaucoup.)

This weekend I *finally* moved into my house. I own a house. It's crazed. Ok, it's a condo. But still. Ownership. Mortgage payment less than rent. Yes.

The move went really well, mostly because I'd been moving little things here and there once the carpet was installed in the master bedroom and office, and also mostly because I have an awesome moving squadron called my family (and two of Derek's friends). Really the only problem that presented itself (for me anyway, who had to move them by myself) was my gajillion books. If I ever talk to you about wanting to buy a book again, just say "15 boxes of just books" and that'll cure me right quick.

But it's been a dream. The two months I spent renovating were really worth it. Especially when you look at the before pictures. The only thing we didn't touch in the condo was the flooring in the living room/dining room, which is a new laminate. Everything else changed in some or many ways. Everything. It was that kind of project. So I'm realizing now that this post is going to be a small intro post to when I post the pictures. I don't have the befores yet, so I don't want to post the afters until then. Here's a teaser picture of after the renovation:



K, talk soon, bye!

Fresh pasta, yum yum!

I took a cooking class at Harmon's a few weeks ago with some good family friends. Um, hello, why have I not discovered this sooner?? I made pasta with my own little hands (from scratch, with a hand-crank pasta roller.) With sauces. It was probably the best chicken fettuccine I've ever had--made--in my life. We also made cajun chicken spaghetti and tri-colored crab ravioli. I have a gift card to Sur la table, so I'm thinking of buying a pasta machine, stat. Pronto. Tonight.

This might be just too much darn awesomeness for one blog but I'm gonna go for it anyway.

So my coworker Kim and I were driving back to the office after a delicious Moochie's lunch when she reminded me that I still hadn't revealed my announcement to the world which was so titillatingly (hehe) alluded to in my last blog. Well, I've been kind of wrapped up in finalizing said shenanigans and haven't had a chance to blog so much as a word, semicolon, or exclamation point.

I have a couple things to write about in addition to the announcement and it helps me to go chronologically so if you're wanting to skip the rest of this chaff and read it already, I think it's going to be number four on the list of things I discuss.

#1. Brian Regan. In the beginning of March I went and saw him at Abravanel (sp?) Hall and he was HILARIOUS. I was kind of sad that Derek couldn't go because he loves him some Brian Regan more than anyone I know. He had prom that same day and had to do the whole "take your girlfriend or she'll be very put out" thing. Oh well. Those of us who did go went to dinner before at Texas Roadhouse, somewhere I hadn't been in a while. Anyway, the show was great and we had pretty good seats. Luckily they had a screen set up so those of us not sitting in the front could see his facial expressions and gestures in minute detail. They're half the jokes, you know. I'd love to make money for having a funny face like his.

Being at Abravanel Hall made me wish I went to the symphony more. I remember going a lot when I was younger, but not so much anymore. So I should get on that, I think.

#2. Cara's wedding dress. She got one, and it's gorgeous! Yay! We only had to go to two stores! YAYYYY.

#3. Remember Me. Or as Cara and I refer to it, Rob Pattinson's redemption for having done Twilight. My hairdresser actually recommended this movie to me, which I was wary of just based on the previews. But. Gosh darn movie about shocked me out of my skin. If you do see this movie, don't do any research beforehand because the punch (literally, in the gut) comes at the very end and it's better to not have any idea, as was my case. It's probably the best movie I've seen in a long time.

#4. And the big one: I bought a condo. So, yeah...I'm a homeowner. Yikes. It's in Murray and I can't even begin to tell you how much I'm in love with the place. It has a balcony overlooking a creek, it's next to the park that has a huge farmers market in the summer, and it will cut my commute in half. And it's charming and has huge closets and once I'm done remodeling it'll be about the most darling thing you ever saw. Seriously. The mortgage is cheaper than any rent and once again, I love it. Housewarming party planning in the works.

#5. Muse. Freaking amazing show. The words "effing jamfest" come to mind. They played at the E Center Monday and I can unequivocally say that it's the best show I've ever been to. And I say that thinking full well of both MCR shows I've been to. I can't even explain...the stage setup, the lights, the music, just everything. It was a freaking party. They played for an hour and a half, then gave two encores. It doesn't get much better than that. I think my favorite part of any show is when it's been a mindblowing, exhausting, and exhilarating experience the whole time, and then the band comes out and gives a little more, and even though your feet are starting to ache and your throat is sore and you'd really rather sit with a drink, you refuse to do so because the band asks you for just a little more too, so you do, and then everyone's just in it together of being part of something that exists only for that moment. That's why I go to rock shows. You just don't experience that anywhere else. I just decided to draw you a picture in Paint of the stage layout because it was just too awesome. I'll post that later, along with some pictures if I can eke out the desire to download them soon.

Well, that's it for now. Work is going great; I'm really blessed in that arena, I think. More than I expected, anyway.

Hope you're all doing well!

Oh and PS, don't cut jalapenos for guacamole and then take out your contacts. I found this out the hard/painful way this morning when I went to put my contacts in and my eyes felt like grapes peeled with razorblades for the rest of the day. Just FYI. Thanks.

Innumeracy /n/:

"A person who lacks basic knowledge of mathematics and arithmetic."

I always knew my disability had a name ;)

So...I have some potentially big news to announce here pretty soon. It's a little nerve-wracking but I'm really excited at the same time. I'll keep you posted!

Advanced New Study Reveals Link Between Newly Washed Cars, Rain, Snow, Sleet

Local woman Rachel “LQTM” Spohn has at last revealed a correlation between bad weather and clean cars.

In what researchers now call a thoroughly groundbreaking and highly scientific study of monumental import, Ms. Spohn has discovered a new way to accurately predict the weather—and she did it all with her car. “Well, I first noticed the phenomenon a few years ago; I would wash my car, and the next day it would rain, snow, hail, or any other combination of the three. When this continued to happen, I decided to track the effects of clean cars on the atmosphere,” Ms. Spohn stated.

After a conclusive study of two and a half months, Ms. Spohn found that 10 to 1, the weather became particularly volatile in the days following the washing of her car. In fact, the pattern has proved so predictable that scientists are hailing the findings as the first step toward a new age of weather forecasting.

Despite the acclaim, Ms. Spohn fails to see the bright side of her discovery.
“It just ain’t right,” she commented, an air of personal vendetta in her tone. “I just wanted to keep my car free of corroding salt and vicious road grime. A person can’t even live anymore without them [expletive deleted] clouds messin’ it up all the time.”

“Them clouds” refused comment, choosing instead to glower ominously in the sky above Mister Moochie’s Aloha Suds ‘n Spray Car Wash.

It is, in fact, Wednesday.

Fact: For 3/4 of the day, I was convinced today was Thursday.
Fact: It sure is not Thursday.


Lately I've been feeling like I need a change. Nothing big, just something different. So I'm not talking job change or anything; mostly I love my job, despite the fact that not even a dog could live on my paycheck. (Ok, maybe a little dog. One with no children and that doesn't mind eating off-brand kibble. And definitely cannot buy sweaters.)

Possible/feasible change options:
1. Ward.
2. Hair. (I want it long though...)
3. Wardrobe. (As in redefining the meaning of the word overhaul.)
4. Boyfriend. (May in fact correlate with number one.)
5. Awesome vacation.

Ideas?

Until said change occurs, I think I can get by because of the following:
Jack McDevitt books, Kaboose tunes (esp. "Goin' Outta Control"), Taco Bell eats (seven layer burrito--thanks Kim!), my coworkers (enough said).

Hmm.

Our little Cubby's growing up.

Clarence proposed to Cub last night and she said yes! [We were a little skeptical she would, to be honest ;) ]

Her ring is gorgeous, and we're all really happy for them. Getting to this point has definitely been somewhat of a journey for them, but it's the right time for them, I think. Here are some pics of the [gorgeous] ring:





I don't want to steal any of her thunder, but you should know they're planning on August in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple, so plan accordingly. I'm sure Cub'll keep you posted...loves!

Farewell, Friend.

J.D. Salinger died today.

What did Catcher in the Rye mean to you?

Nausea: Jean Paul Sartre.

"I jump up: it would be much better if I could only stop thinking. Thoughts are the dullest things. Duller than flesh. They stretch out and there's no end to them and they leave a funny taste in the mouth. Then there are words, inside the thoughts, unfinished words, a sketchy sentence which constantly returns: 'I have to fi. . . I ex. . . Dead . . . M. de Roll is dead . . . I am not ... I ex. . .' It goes, it goes . . . and there's no end to it. It's worse than the rest because I feel responsible and have complicity in it. For example, this sort of painful rumination: I exist, I am the one who keeps it up. I. The body lives by itself once it has begun. But though I am the one who continues it, unrolls it. I exist. How serpentine is this feeling of existing, I unwind it, slowly. ... If I could keep myself from thinking! I try, and succeed: my head seems to fill with smoke . . . and then it starts again: 'Smoke . . . not to think . . . don't want to think ... I think I don't want to think. I mustn't think that I don't want to think. Because that's still a thought.' Will there never be an end to it? My thought is me: that's why I can't stop. I exist because I think . . . and I can't stop myself from thinking. At this very moment, it's frightful, if I exist, it is because I am horrified at existing. I am the one who pulls myself from the nothingness to which I aspire: the hatred, the disgust of existing, there are as many ways to make myself exist, to thrust myself into existence. Thoughts are born at the back of me, like sudden giddiness, I feel them being born behind my head ... if I yield, they're going to come round in front of me, between my eyes, and I always yield, the thought grows and grows and there it is, immense, filling me completely and renewing my existence."

Here's what we're gonna do.

The way I see it, I have the following three (3) options for 2010.

1. Buy a Skycar.

2. Spend time at Hagia Sophia.

3. Learn Italian. In Italy.

So we'll see. Moving to London is also an option to throw out there.

Other ideas?