figuratively speaking

So I lied about that whole "that's all for today" thing. Sleep is not happening tonight, apparently. I could tell you all so many things right now but all I can really piece together from the warbling word vomit of my brain is how much I don't like talking about my job.

People ask me what I'm doing these days, post-lawfirm, and I cringe inside. My job is pretty boring and I know I sound boring talking about it. Real estate investments don't exactly appeal to the general public's most tantalizing dreams and desires. Although I will say that it is incredibly thoughtful of my job to keep me busy 8-5, something the law firm never provided. And hopefully I'm getting better at helping the investors (aka "the kids") and communicating with everyone what needs to happen to keep said kids happy. But to talk about what that actually entails? I feel like I have to casually throw into the conversation the fact that I have a (nonexistent) affinity for Israeli martial arts or my (not-actually-planned) plan to travel to Bangladesh to care for orphans, just to ensure they know that I'm not the boring person my job makes me out to be.

Although, some days I walk out of work feeling like I've done a great job, I know my purpose and how to fulfill it, and I'm all

But most days I read the first email of the day and

just.can't.even.

So there's that. Finding a balance has been difficult. It doesn't help that the company is growing tremendously (which I know isn't something to complain about, honestly) and it seems like there's more work than people in the company or hours in the day to complete it all.
And then you have The Accountant, who is just so dang adorable but, srsly guise, it's just not going anywhere. What can you do with two extremely shy and introverted people? Not to mention that there are whisperings abroad that he is somewhat into musicals, which I try not to be judgmental towards people about, but really I don't try that hard these days.

And then these people (these people=random coworkers) want to have in-depth conversations with me about their lives and sometimes I wonder when they actually find time to work, and I smile and nod but inside am just like

I'm not really friends with anyone like I was at my last job. (Those were some awesome coworkers, no joke. They could tell me their life stories any day. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, RACHEL/NATALIE/SAM.) In reality (reality=outside of work) I'm not the fake person my job makes me out to be. But I guess that's what you get when you are stuck doing something day to day that isn't you, doesn't say anything about who you are. Every day does become somewhat of an act until you find something that you can say with confidence and no fear of boring someone, I am a ________________.

I know I'm describing pretty much anyone ever. And I've heard tell of some people who are content with what they have, which I envy. But I can't help thinking there is something better for me, no matter what those people say.

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.