Weekend Update.

This weekend I went home because we had a lot of family stuff going on. As usual I had a ton of fun because my family is the BEST EVER. I'm not exaggerating at all. Saturday I spoke at my cousins' baptism (Lindzee and Elizabeth!), and despite feeling inadequate I think I did an ok job. I'm actually just relieved it's over. The rest of the day (the baptism was in the morning) I took a marathon nap, washed Baby Precious (temporary car nickname), and ate a watermelon cream slush while I listened to the last part of the Young Women's Broadcast. Something President Monson said really struck a cord with me because I think it's one of the most important lessons we can learn in life. He said, "If you judge people, then you have no time to love them." I think that's so beautiful and something I need to take to heart.

That night after dinner Derek and I went to see Taken. It was really intense and sad. That kind of thing makes me sick. Anyway. Sunday was good. Mom made a delicious dinner and it was nice to just relax and be together. Despite the spring snow. I'm trying not to be bitter about it, but seriously? I thought we were done with this. And now the wind is back and I can hear it outside.

I wish I didn't have class today, especially English 495: Death Class. Death by boredom, that is. Ugh. This is my one consolation: At least the magazine is done now. Woot!

So I'm off. Hope you all have a great day!

The future looks bright to me.

Graduation is what, five weeks away? And oddly enough, despite having just purchased a car (a beautiful, perfect-for-me Subaru Forester), I'm feeling pretty relaxed. I've applied to a couple publishing companies and am still searching as we speak, but at the same time, I'm feeling confident that everything will be ok. It reminds me of that scripture that says our job is to do all that we can and the Lord will make up the difference. I strongly believe that if you do what you can to be prepared and if you keep your eyes open, things will work out. And if they don't go how you planned, then that's not how they were supposed to go.

I'm excited for everything that will happen this year. Not to mention all the new people and new places I've yet to meet and to experience. No regrets, right?



[P.S. Sorry for my last blog...I just read it again. Talk about drama queen. ;) ]

Warning: Indulgent Blog.

Tonight I was thinking about the first time that Jake came to see me in Provo and how excited I was to see him. He took me grocery shopping (I didn't have a car then) and we watched School of Rock. I remember talking to him for hours and hours and feeling safe and wondering why I couldn't like him as much as he liked me. I think I have some sort of mental handicap where I like guys that don't like me, but I also don't like the guys who like me. I'm not one of those commitment-phobes, so what gives?


And people ask me why I always look tired.
C'est la vie.

I need to stop thinking that some rotund gentleman wearing a linen suit and smoking a Cuban is going to add more hours to the day. Just for me.

I've been running around like a madwoman these past two weeks. It seems there's never enough time to get everything done and still pay homage to a little thing called sleep. Or, uh, life. The magazine has been taking up the majority of my time (I'm not telling you how many hours I've worked on it already this week because I know you'll just respond, "Hello? There aren't even that many hours in a week!" Yeah, it's that many). BUT the magazine is slowly emerging from its wallflower stage of homely awkwardness into being the belle of the ball that all the boys want to dance with. It's ridiculous how good this thing already looks, folks. And it's not even done yet. The thing is, I don't begrudge any of the time I've spent on it, class project or no. It has my name on it and that means more to me than any grade.

I've also been busy finalizing the topic of my senior English project. The class is loosely based on identity and rhetoric, which has given me a lot of leeway when deciding what to discuss. My first inclination was to expand on my Edith Wharton paper from two (or so) semesters ago that talked about female identity and the male gaze. But I was tired of it. My next thought was to talk about The Stolen Generation and Aborigine identity politics. Interesting, yes, but a book-length, dissertation-ish project, in all. I satisfied that craving by checking out a book called The Aborigine Tradition and it's become my bus reading. I'm totally fascinated by it, and it's just one of many examples of my need to learn about many different subjects. So finally, after much soul-searching, I decided to write on Dexter. I'm basing my research on the first season, and discussing "Blood and Being: The Ethics of Dexter's Dialectical Identity." Good, yeah? I'm excited. My professor's really excited too and wants me to try to get in published in a cultural or media studies journal, which would pretty much be my ticket to grad school if I decide to go that route in the future. I think getting published as an undergrad is a long shot, but I'm willing to try.

My other class, French and Italian Cinema, is going well. Haha...I can't say much more than that. I'm learning a lot, obviously. I got a 99 on the first test and have yet to get the first analysis paper back. I discussed The Ambivalence of Morality in Le Corbeau. I love that film. It has Pierre Fresnay who is just amazing (he also plays Captaine Boeldieu in Grand Illusion, another favorite). The best part of the class is the fact that Cara's in there too.

So in between all of this scholarly nonsense I'm still working my two editing jobs. I haven't been writing as much for Orange Soda just because of sheer time pressure, but I manage to eke out three or four articles a week. The index is also still in full swing; I just received my latest check for that, which gave me more motivation to keep going.

Quoi d'autre? Hm. Besides my Aborigine book, I bought and am halfway through Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose. It's so refreshing to read a book of literary and intellectual value that is still interesting. You can definitely tell Eco is a professor of semiotics, which I think makes the book even better. He's one of my favorite philosophers and evidently this book is really famous but I hadn't heard of it. Ha. I know nothing. But I highly recommend it to anyone who likes philosophy, metaphysics, and the politics of 14th-century Catholicism in their mystery novels.

Cara and I have made it a goal not to eat out so much; our wallets and bellies just can't take it anymore. As part of this goal, I made slow-cooker pork tacos, double-wrapped in corn tortillas with queso fresco, avocado, pineapple, red cabbage, onion, lime, and cilantro. To answer your question, yes, it was the most delicious thing I've ever made in my life. And yes, it was better and cheaper than a restaurant. Woot. So yesterday I made my secret-recipe spaghetti (I made it up and it's delicious) with caesar salad and garlic bread. Needless to say, we're eating like kings. Speaking of food, Cara and I--ok, it's mostly me--have a newfound obsession with the cream slushes at Sonic. I get watermelon, Cara gets strawberry. I think I'm tired of ice cream and chocolate and this fruity concoction is perfect. And inexpensive.

I received some sad news from my dad yesterday. My grandma had a small stroke on Monday and my mom says she probably doesn't have much longer to live. :( I will post more on my grandma later when I can get my thoughts together, but if you could keep her in your prayers I would really appreciate it.

Well, that's all I have so far. I apologize for the novel. Here are some band suggestions for you to check out: ZibraZibra, Junior Boys, Melpo Mene, Cloud Cult, The Softlightes, Oh No! Oh My!, and Apparat. Happy listening.

I'm not gonna lie.

This semester has been extremely hard--academically, physically, emotionally, and even somewhat spiritually.

I'm so grateful to have a mommy and a daddy who help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know everything will work out how it's supposed to, but it's good to have a reminder every now and then.