winter music.

Among my many Scrooge-y traits is the fact that I don't like Christmas music--very rarely do I enjoy the overblown offerings that accompany the holiday season. Making the short list of things that I will listen to is Gustav Holst and...that's about all that comes to mind right now. Add to the list of approved music this playlist, and I'm thinking maybe I can stomach listening to "Mary, Did You Know?" at least once this year.

Or at least halfway through.
I do have my limits.

i love this lad.

Can a baby be your best friend? If he's Baby Rhett, then yes. Here he is rockin' his robot shirt I bought him.

Labor Day.

Ironically, the day that absolutely no work is done. This year was pretty laid back for our family. Cara, Clarence, Baby Rhett and I (it was just the four of us since mom and dad opted instead to do some rich guy thing with the Park City Parade of Homes...whatever) drove up to Silver Lake after having lunch at Rumbi and just walked around. Crazily enough, the leaves are already changing on the mountain. Hello, my most precious falltime!

Adventure Rhett was snuggled in his new carrier. He's such a good baby and it's hard to believe he's only 4 months. He seems so much older sometimes in the way he acts and how strong he is. It's also hard to believe that he spent the first week of his life in the NICU.

Anyway, after Silver Lake we drove over the treacherous precipice that is Guardsmans Pass and down into Midway. We stopped and got some tasty shakes at Timp Freeze before heading home through Park City. I should also mention that I saw the cutest little house that desperately needs some love and attention.

All in all, a beautiful fun day completely devoid of work!

The Precious Young Man strikes again.

Just...go to here.

this is just a tribute.

all i can think about this week.

THIS HAS TO HAPPEN TODAY. Come on, London.

note to self.

So I lied about that whole "that's all for today" thing. Sleep is not happening tonight, apparently. I could tell you all so many things right now but all I can really piece together from the warbling word vomit of my brain is how much I don't like talking about my job.

People ask me what I'm doing these days, post-lawfirm, and I cringe inside. My job is pretty boring and I know I sound boring talking about it. Real estate investments don't exactly appeal to the general public's most tantalizing dreams and desires. Although I will say that it is incredibly thoughtful of my job to keep me busy 8-5, something the law firm never provided. And hopefully I'm getting better at helping the investors (aka "the kids") and communicating with everyone what needs to happen to keep said kids happy. But to talk about what that actually entails? I feel like I have to casually throw into the conversation the fact that I have a (nonexistent) affinity for Israeli martial arts or my (not-actually-planned) plan to travel to Bangladesh to care for orphans, just to ensure they know that I'm not the boring person my job makes me out to be.

Although, some days I walk out of work feeling like I've done a great job, I know my purpose and how to fulfill it, and I'm all

But most days I read the first email of the day and

just.can't.even.

So there's that. Finding a balance has been difficult. It doesn't help that the company is growing tremendously (which I know isn't something to complain about, honestly) and it seems like there's more work than people in the company or hours in the day to complete it all.
And then you have The Accountant, who is just so dang adorable but, srsly guise, it's just not going anywhere. What can you do with two extremely shy and introverted people? Not to mention that there are whisperings abroad that he is somewhat into musicals, which I try not to be judgmental towards people about, but really I don't try that hard these days.

And then these people (these people=random coworkers) want to have in-depth conversations with me about their lives and sometimes I wonder when they actually find time to work, and I smile and nod but inside am just like

I'm not really friends with anyone like I was at my last job. (Those were some awesome coworkers, no joke. They could tell me their life stories any day. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, RACHEL/NATALIE/SAM.) In reality (reality=outside of work) I'm not the fake person my job makes me out to be. But I guess that's what you get when you are stuck doing something day to day that isn't you, doesn't say anything about who you are. Every day does become somewhat of an act until you find something that you can say with confidence and no fear of boring someone, I am a ________________.

I know I'm describing pretty much anyone ever. And I've heard tell of some people who are content with what they have, which I envy. But I can't help thinking there is something better for me, no matter what those people say.

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

what are you waiting for.

Also,

That's all for today.

indeed.

just something to think about right before you go to bed.

In his 1957 novel Dandelion Wine, Ray Bradbury writes as the protagonist's dying grandmother. She says, "Important thing is not the me that's lying here, but the me that's sitting on the edge of the bed looking back at me, and the me that's downstairs cooking supper, or out in the garage under the car, or in the library reading. All the new parts, they count. I'm not really dying today. No person ever died that had a family."

AND

There is a theory put forth by Stephen Hawking based on work by R. Feynman (a brilliant physicist) that examines the possibility of multiple realities and concludes that the act of observing something creates the history that led to it. In other words, your past is constantly rewritten to accomodate your present. It only seems static because you don't know any better.






mind=blown











Sleep tight.

already a heartbreaker.

Those lips + a name like Rhett Harley = hearts broken. We're talking demolished.

spring fever.

on the road by lambskin featuring a military style jacket

le sigh.

"C'est cela l'amour, tout donner, tout sacrifier sans espoir de retour." -Albert Camus

august 1999.

If I had known your eyes
held the heart of time
I would have stayed there longer

instead we drank in the summer
content with these half-bodies
for now

popsicle-stained mouths
drying in the sun, a thin reed of light
just barely behind the dip dyed mountains

night came and we vanished
into this sappy pine
finding our star, to plot a course

our journey seemed endless.

scenes from the weekend.

Dad's birthday lunch at Maddox Ranch House.
Brigham City Temple and Tabernacle.
Making a quilt for Baby Rhett.
White birthday cake, lemon buttercream, blackberry filling.
80 degree weather.
I love my family.

there's a reason 98% of my poetry posts come from this man.

quelle chance.

Apparently there is a new young man I have my eye on. We'll call him The Accountant. My mother approves. Cara approves. Even Rhett approves. The Accountant and I have had opportunities to meet up somehow but not until tonight did we actually talk to each other. It happened like this...::fade out scene:::

::Fade in::

I had worked late because it's the month end and the end of the month means reports, and piles of reports, topped with a healthy dose of THOUSANDS OF EMAILS AND DISCUSSIONS REGARDING REPORTS. (Kind of like this scene from Office Space, but without the detached irony.)

I finished what work could be done for the day and headed out. I came out of the door and angels singing there he was, waiting for the elevator. What a crazy random happenstance, right?

We get on the elevator and talk. We continue to talk as we walk together out of the building and to the garage where our cars are parked. Usually I park in front of the building but I was a couple minutes later today and the spaces were all taken. Hence the garage.

In both instances (parking, elevator) it was a matter of mere minutes for all of this to fall into place.

I know you are extremely taken aback as I am by all these seemingly insignificant things that enabled this First Meeting with The (Adorable) Accountant to happen.

Stay tuned.

allons-y.

ain't no party
like a Time Lord party
because
a Time Lord party
is not bound
by typical temporal parameters
and thus
don't stop.






(unless your name is matt smith in which case the party has come to a crashing halt and everyone is staring at each other awkwardly over lukewarm cups of dime store pineapple punch.)

ya'll come back now.

So...I'm having a little bit of culture shock. Mom and I just got back from a 10-day trip to the Southeast and the return home has been a doozy for me. Let's just say I really got into the South. Which you wouldn't think, knowing me, since I'm all about rain and cooler weather and am not about humidity, mosquitos, et. al. But lately I've been all about the South and can't get enough of it. Go figure, I guess. The city of Savannah got to me and spoke to something that went beyond tourism. To see some photos of the trip, go to my flickr photostream.

I'm not sure where to start because it's all a little jumbled in my mind, but I'll do my best.

The trip was initially planned as a girls' trip for me, mom and Cara to Savannah, Georgia. Along came Rhetty baby and it became a girls' trip for me and mom with a little bit of work thrown in the mix. You see, mom's this high-powered boss lady in charge of about 50 apartment properties or so scattered across the United States, most of them located in the Southeast and Texas. The trip coincided with some business she needed to oversee in the Carolinas anyway, so we added it to the beginning of the trip before the annual Savannah Tour of Homes & Gardens.

We flew in to Columbia, South Carolina, specifically to one of the properties mom had to visit where we stayed in the corporate suite. That night we ate dinner at Bonefish Grill (Bang Bang Shrimp all the way, baby), picked up some fruit at Piggly Wiggly, an ice cream at Baskins, and headed back to the property. On the way we detoured through a neighborhood and I got some great shots of a winding road under a street light. (I have a thing for neighborhood street lights hidden in trees, illuminated at night.)

The next day we met a regional property manager and her family and two other property managers for breakfast at Le Peep. (I am joking about the name.)(For real, though.) I had Monte Cristo crepes and we sat and talked for a long time. It was extremely relaxing and I really enjoyed getting to know other people that work for Cottonwood at the operations level. Plus they're hilarious and awesome and I can't wait to see them again.

After breakfast mom and I headed out to the Columbia Temple, which was hidden away in a forest neighborhood (even though basically the entire area is a forest to my desert-trained eyes). We almost missed it because it was so tucked away. The grounds were closed and we didn't feel like going back to our room because we knew we'd both just work, so we decided spur of the moment to drive the two hours south to Charleston.

The weather was great until we hit about 5 minutes out of the city when it started pouring. We worked this to our advantage though and ate a nice dinner at a Southern bistro in the historic district. By the time we finished the rain had cleared up and we walked around the district for awhile. It was extremely charming and the houses amazing. I'm a sucker for a huge porch and full-blown garden, and every house had just that in spades. Once we got our fill of Charleston we headed home and went to bed.

The next day I spent working in our room (I'm lucky enough to have a job that can mostly be done remotely) while mom visited some properties in the area. The property manager Delores was nice enough to bring me back lunch from Lillian's, which included a piece of maple pound cake. I think my mom knows me a little too well...

That night after work we drove to Charlotte, North Carolina for the next leg of our trip. But before we got there we stopped at BOB EVANS. This restaurant is a huge deal for our family. I can't remember which trip we discovered it on (I think Missouri) but every time we've been back east we've eaten there at least once. Or twice. Florida was twice (ew, Florida...you need to two trips to Bob Evans in that state, trust me). Anyway, we ate way too much since we were starving, and the staff was so nice to let us in and feed us delicious biscuits and crepes and potatoes and eggs and hot chocolate even though it was past closing. I felt so bad that we kept them there so late I called the manager the next day to let him know how much we appreciated it, since not many other places would have done the same that late at night.

That night in Charlotte we stayed at the Hilton and basically crashed into bed. Tres fatiguee.

The next day was another long work day for both of us. The only worthwhile event for me was having to talk down three separate housekeepers from servicing our room for checkout. I had to call downstairs and reassure them we were indeed staying in the room. Helloooo. Anyway.

For our next adventure we drove to Raleigh, stopping along the way to see more properties. Sometime during the day I decided that I hated every single article of clothing I had packed for the trip and would rather swim through snake infested waters than have to look at them anymore. It was very dramatic. So on the way to our hotel we stopped at the mall in Raleigh to alleviate my suffering. In the process mom forgets her WALLET in the shoe department and since we left right at closing, there was no way to get it back until morning. (Sorry Mom--cat's out of the bag.) Of course we don't realize said wallet is missing until we're 30 minutes away from the mall at our "4-star" hotel in Chapel Hill. :| Insert panic followed by eating an entire Domino's medium pizza between the two of us. Sleep. Morning: We drive to the mall and there is the little rapscallion sitting all cozy in the chair in the shoe department. Whatever. Seriously thanks for giving us a heart attack. The feeling of losing your wallet while traveling is akin only to realizing you've thrown away a winning lottery ticket. Do not want. Lots of praying, that's for sure.

BACK TO THE STORY

So it's about 6 hours driving from Raleigh to Savannah. Lots of trees in between the two points and not much else. Swampy areas interspersed with thickets surrounded by grassy knolls. Greenery abounds, is what I'm getting at.

Finally at about 3:30 in the afternoon we arrived at Savannah. I about died at the first sight of Spanish moss hanging from live oaks. We stayed in the heart of the historic district on the side of Oglethorpe Square at The President's Quarters Inn. Each of the 16 rooms is named after a U.S. president. We chose Teddy Roosevelt. I felt this was diplomatic of us. Although upon entering the room we found hints of Richard Nixon. Still not sure what to make of that. So the inn is two houses built in 1855 that were joined together to create one big house. It was a great place to stay because it retained the historical elements of the building but still had modern, updated features (i.e. the bathroom didn't get all 1860 chamber pot-y on you, ya know?).

After checking in and settling down, we walked down to the riverfront for dinner. On the way there we passed the Savannah College of Art and Design, one of the colleges I considered going to back in the day, and a couple theaters advertising events for the musical festival that was going on the same week we were there (saw a sign for Neon Trees and thought it was crazy that just five years ago I saw them play at Southworth Hall in Provo). We ate at Vic's on the River, where I had the most delicious Southern meatloaf. Since we weren't yet familiar with the city and were pretty tired from the day, we walked back to the inn and got into bed--a king-sized four poster. I need to get me one of those. I was in awe the whole time of the city at night; haunted energy describes it best.

The next day we were up bright and early for the homes tour. During the day we toured 9 different homes that were of historical and architectural importance. I loved walking around the neighborhoods and getting a glimpse of what life is like in such a historic city. Once we had seen all the homes, we headed over to the DeSoto Hilton for a Tall Tea. Yes, they served the little cucumber sandwiches, and yes, the tea was decaffeinated (judgers). The view from the 14th floor was awesome and made for some great pictures.

After the tea we headed back to the inn to rest a little for that night. What was happening that night, you ask? A ghost tour! Yayy. NO BUT REALLY YAYYYYYY. How could we not do this tour in America's most haunted city? I had researched a few online and found one that offered good ghost stories and accurate history at the same time. Since mom is scared easily (::cough::) I didn't want something that was going to focus on evil (voodoo/exorcisms, etc) or super disturbing aspects of the city, so in the end I chose the candlelight haunted history tour. You want to know the best part? One of the stops on the tour was the 17hundred90 Inn, just across the street from where we were staying. Aww yeah. I have a story about that if you want to know ever. Mom does too. Too weird to talk about right now.

Since the tour didn't start until 9 pm, we took our time with dinner and actually decided to eat at the 17hundred90 Inn restaurant. The best part of the meal were the biscuits. OH. YES. These biscuits need to given to me on a daily basis for my life happiness to be assured. I'm definitely learning how to make these.

After dinner we headed out for the Colonial Cemetery to start the tour. And it started lightning and thundering. :| I was beyond blissful. Haunted, historic city. Spanish moss. Ghost tour. Thunder and lightning. It was almost too much. Edgar Allan Poe much. Shortly after the tour started (there were only 8 of us on the tour) it started raining. But luckily the weather was warm and we carried on. 90 minutes later mom and I splashed through the rain laughing as we ran back to the inn. I absolutely loved it.

The next day we were a bit tired. And torn between wanting to see more of the city but also not wanting to get caught in the rain again. We decided to venture further out and ended up at this gigantic house filled with antiques. Heaven has 17 rooms, apparently, and they're all filled with old unique stuff. There's nothing to match it in Utah, and I only wish I had the funds to ship it all home. That evening I was getting a little bratty because I had 15 mosquito bites on my legs and one arm and I was done walking around. Mom suggested we go see The Hunger Games movie. I thought it was ok; the book just had so much more. The movie felt very...watery. Pale in comparison. It did a lot of things right, but there just wasn't enough. After the movie we headed to dinner (Bonefish Grill. I'm not kidding about the Bang Bang Shrimp, people) and then home. Mom and I both got creeped out on the way home, driving through the old neighborhoods late at night, thinking about everything that has happened in those homes.

To put this into perspective and give you a little insight into our creeped-out state, you should know that Savannah has mass graves all over the city, the locations of which are unknown. Yellow fever epidemics, the American Revolution and Civil War all played their part in creating these. As I mentioned before, our ghost tour started at the Colonial Cemetery, parts of which extended in past times to what is now the paved road. There are roughly 200 headstones in the cemetery but it's estimated that over 9,000 people are actually buried there. SO YEAH, WE WERE FREAKED OUT A LITTLE. Add to the mix the low overhanging trees, the fact that none of these houses have any lights on, and yeah, you're gonna be a little creeped out at the thought of living in one of the creaking old buildings alone. It's one of those things where we came to the conclusion that you just have to assume every building is haunted. Not in a bad or scary way, necessarily, it's just that too much has happened for there to not be some sort of energy or strong echo of the past. That's all I'm trying to say.

That being said, it's a history I respect and has made an impression on me. The best way I can describe it is that you have "the Halloween feeling" 24/7 in Savannah. At times it's the happy go lucky, chains in the attic feeling when you were little. And other times it's the creepy, graveyard at night under a full moon sense that something supernatural could be around the corner. In any case, I loved it. Historic charm, atmosphere, and incredible people made for a memorable and fantastic first trip to the South. Now if I can only find a way to actually be there ON Halloween...

also,

I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it’s very difficult to find anyone.
— The Hobbit (J.R.R. Tolkein)

that woman the rain bore off.

if i knew where
i was going next,
i wouldn't be taking so many
naps,
or reading all these books,
trying to divine my future
in pillow cases
and stitched book bindings,
lost in the small decisions
of each day,
only a little bit numb.

i am the inevitable wanderer
the girl who always says
goodbye,
but never knows
how to leave.

it is just me?

Does anyone else ever think that captcha phrases are getting increasingly harder? And from there you think, they could be getting more difficult to read OR I am becoming a robot.

For some reason I lean toward the latter. If we're talking plausibility and logic.

living, etc.

Couple things. First, I've finally finished Friday Night Lights. And now I must either (A) Move to Texas, or (B) Marry Tim Riggins. Unfortunately these items seem to be mutually exclusive, seeing as one is imaginary and the other more firmly grounded in reality. I'll let you decide which is which.

I also watched the 10th Doctor's finale, which I'd been putting off for months. I just can't imagine anyone else as the Doctor. David Tennant IS him. So yeah. Life's just FULL of disappointments right now. ;) I finished "The End of Time" and just moped around the house like

When I saw Matt Smith's face after the change, there were no words coming to mind that didn't rhyme with disgust and annoyance.

Also in British television is the second season of Sherlock, which was brilliant as always. Although the Irene Adler character bothered me to no end, as is the case with most adaptations. Did the writers even read the book?? Meh. But the show is clever and British so I don't feel comfortable complaining past that point.

(It's a little ironic that this post has "living" in the title and so far all I've talked about is tv. Hey, I never specified whether said living would be vicarious or actual. Your assumptions are your own.)

Other than that very important stuff...the new job's going great. It's been about two weeks and so far so good. The pay is considerably better and it's nice to not be feeling skint all the time. The work is interesting. I'm not seen as "just a secretary" anymore, which is loads better in itself. Quoi d'autre?

It's the time of the year when the creek behind my place is lousy with geese honking at all hours. So that's...nice. Despite this avian epidemic, I've realized the past month or so that I really love where I live. It's central to the freeway but still in a quiet area with lots of trees. Close to the park and library. Et ma maison? Je l'aime beaucoup. I bought two extremely sexy chairs and an end table for my office from World Market on Friday. It's the last room in my house that needs attention. Poor little loved-starved office. Triste.

On a last note, there are those of you out there who have asked for an update on L'Homme. And there's really not much to say beyond the fact that he visited, we spent time together, he said goodbye. He's a nice person but there were a few things about him that failed to cross the Skype divide earlier on that have made me decide not to continue with him. The Great Search continues, I guess. There was also that awkward moment when you're driving in the car with your significant other and a love song comes on the radio and you realize you're thinking of someone else. Ruh roh. So on these grounds I feel comfortable closing that chapter in my life. We can talk individually if you want a more detailed explanation, but I'm not going to word-vomit all over this when only two people want to know.

(cut to those two people)

At least you're honest.

the awesomeness...it overwhelms us.

I just can't stop.
(Thanks Clarencia!)

i may also need this. more.

Cozy northern habitation? Check.
Wolf hybrid? Check check.





















This guy chopping wood outside?

...Check.


I think that about covers it!

Dream life ACTIVATE.

you don't say.

True words from a great author. Also, I need this:

winter cafe.

winter cafe by lambskin featuring a dangle necklace

Just add Jake Gyllenhaal sitting across from me and I'll be set. ;)

lie to me.

you're wasting all your time here
riding around in the sun
alone and idling
come wander back to me
you know i'll always be there

lie to me, lie to me
make like you love me
lie to me, lie to me

with this one you never go
and this one you never show yourself
with this one you tell it all
and turn your world into a ghost town

lie to me, lie to me
make like you love me
lie to me, c'mon it's easy

don't think of what we can't be
i know what you need and you know that you like it
the name you were born with
your soul on your sleeve
let me believe in something

just, you know, stuff.

How were everybody's holidays? Good, I hope. I can honestly say that this past Christmas was one of the best ever. And I include in that list the year of the Barbie dream car. Yes, a pink Barbie convertible that Cara and I drove around in. (Cue the peanut gallery saying, This was only last year, right? Hardee-har-har.)

This year we talked to TPYM via Skype, had a fabulous Christmas and New Year's Eve dinner with the Erbs, and had all sorts of frolicking laughter, snuggling and joy. (Rainbows though were nil. Sorry.) I think what made this Christmas/New Year a good'un was the perfect balance between festivities, family time, and spiritual experiences. Dad "shufflin'" at 2:30 am on New Year's? Festivities. Watching the First Presidency Christmas Devotional? Family time AND spiritual experience. We like to get it all in, I guess.

What I'm saying is, it made me excited for the year to come. And there are already great plans in the works. Mom and I are going to Savannah for a historic homes and gardens tour (and ghost tour that she doesn't know about yet, shhh) in March for our birthdays, we're taking a family trip to Glacier National Park in August (cue dancing in the street), and I think there's supposed to be some sort of baby born in May. Renaldo? Robert? Ragnar? Not to mention the Arsenal v. Manchester United match in just a few short weeks. Busy busy. So in summation, it's gonna be great and I can't wait to see what happens. And stuff.