News, news, news.

On Monday I found out that I got the publishing internship with Deseret Book. I'm really excited to have been chosen out of so many people, and I just want to get down there and start working. My internship begins next Tuesday, August 26, and runs until December 11. The schedule is perfect; I couldn't have planned it better myself. I work every Tuesday and Thursday, 9am-5pm. I haven't decided whether I'm going to take the express bus, a ride of 1 hour 42 minutes, or to drive Jetta to TRAX and then TRAX to the office downtown. I think cost-wise, which is what I care about more than time, the bus is the better choice, because driving Jetta would mean that in addition to paying for the gas to drive from Provo to 90th, I would have to pay for TRAX tickets, which are ridiculously expensive now if you're going to ride it as much as I would. I'm getting a student discount on my bus pass for going to school anyway, and I'm hoping it will apply to the express bus. I get a $1,000 stipend (half now, half at the end), which should help cover any weird costs I run into. In any case, wild horses couldn't keep me away from this internship.

The woman who offered me the library job I applied for at the same time as the internship was really nice about me declining--that's always a weird situation to be in, telling someone you've decided to work somewhere else. But she was great and gave me a few days to think about it and now I feel really good about my decision.

In other news, Cara and I are moving back to Provo next week, maybe on Wednesday, or most likely on Friday. I'm really looking forward to this year, since it's my last one and my classes are going to be awesome. The more I think about it, the more I realize how much I belong in this major/minor, and how maybe this was a large reason why I was supposed to go to BYU. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I'd ever chosen to attend BYU; it's not that I wasn't against it, it just hadn't crossed my mind. My applications included more of the likes of Westminster, Brown, Dartmouth, Smith, and wonder of all wonders, BYU-Idaho (please, just, really don't ask). But six months after the application frenzy, my parents were dropping me off at U-Hall of Deseret Towers. So you never really know, I guess. None of the other schools I considered have an editing minor or focus. And that's what has kept me here at BYU, even though it took me three years to figure that out. This year is going to be awesome. I'm excited to live with Janae and have my own room again.

This summer has been somewhat hard for me. I've come to realize a lot of things about myself that I'd rather not know. Mainly, I had to learn the difference between hoping and expecting, and that it's never good to do much of the latter. I'm also having to deal with my sudden loss of independece--newsflash, Rachel can't stand to be alone. Go figure. I used to be extremely independent and liked doing my own thing, but I've come to the point where I hate even sleeping alone. Abandonment issues much? Haha... I feel bratty complaining, especially when, for the most part, I have everything I want. But I don't think it's right to have a constant feeling of discontent, and I guess I'm just voicing that.

In better news, I've started writing more on my book I started my freshman year. I get new ideas everyday and it's hard to keep them organized, so I've been writing them down and started to sort them better. We'll see how that turns out. Like Ashley has said, if "that Twilight woman can write a book," what's stopping me?

Need more friends with wings.

So the title of this blog has nothing to do with anything really, except that I was listening to Billy Talent and that was the first line of the song. Anyway, what a freakingly exhausting day this here Tuesday has been. I'm more than a little sad that I'm not in Vancouver/Portland right now, but I'll just have to plan on taking a trip there soon. Instead, today's non-Portland day was brought to you by Rachel's Internship and Job Search 2008. The internship: publishing assistant at Deseret Book. The job: Bibliographer/Researcher at the HBLL.

After a night of fitful, restless sleep, I was jerked crashingly awake this morning by my unfamiliar, very un-summer sounding alarm clock at 7:30. After a shower and quick breakfast, Cara and I left the house for the Trax station. It only took us 20 minutes from the 6400 S. Trax to the Deseret Book corporate office, so we walked around Temple Square for a little bit. My appointment wasn't until 10, and I was really glad to have Cara there with me for support and to keep me from freaking out too much. I think I have some sort of delayed nervousness syndrome because I felt fine about the whole ordeal up until about 20 minutes before my appointment. Cara got on Trax to go read at the Gateway Barnes & Noble (she really is the best sister for going with me like she did), and I walked across the street from Temple Square into the lobby of DB's offices. I told the receptionist that I had an appointment, and then Jolene came down and took me to the office where I was to take my editing/proofreading test. The test wasn't too bad; I was happy I had reviewed my copyediting marks the night before or my life would have really been difficult. About an hour later I gave my test back to Jolene, who then took me to Lisa Mangum's office for the interview. When I met Lisa, I was so relieved. She was extremely nice and down to earth. I felt really comfortable with her and being at the offices. The interview went amazingly well, I thought, and afterwards I left the offices and met Cara at Gateway where we had delicious chicken yakisoba at Edo Japan and a treat from DQ. After lunch we caught Trax back to the car, and stage two of today's adventure began. We drove to Provo (which is seriously 10 degrees hotter than SLC) and I had enough time before my interview to turn in my scholarship contract and walk around campus for a little while. My interview for a Cataloging/Acquisitions--basically data entry--position at the library on campus was for 3, and Cara and I had the funniest time trying to find the office on the 6th floor of the HBLL. I didn't even know that the library had a 6th floor. Evidently, only a certain section of the building has the much-treasured additional floor. I don't know. My interview here also went really well; I guess when you get me around book people, only good things happen. I'm blessed like that. After the interview, Cub and I met up with Janny at her work and got to talk with her about how living together this year is going to rock and about Cara's hamster concerns. And thus ended our Tuesday adventure. We made it home safely and are now enjoying the coolness of an air-conditioned house.

I guess both the internship and the job have pros and cons. In all honesty I'm hoping for the internship because it's right up my alley of where I see my career going the next five years, but the job would be just as valuable in giving me more experience. The next couple of days will tell me more, so until then...

Too much time on my hands.

One of my favorite ways of passing extra time is planning my future house. That may sound weird to some of you, but remember that I know some of you, and what you do is no less weird, right? Right. This hobby stems mostly from a love of real estate and interior design, not from some delusional fantasy that everything posted here will be mine in 1.5 years, along with 2 kids and a hot graphic designer husband. Ahem. Not at all. Tell me what you think of these rooms! They're mostly chosen with this house in mind:



Living Rooms


Bedroom


This one is my favorite--I love the modern and simple feel of platform beds.


Bathroom



Dining Room


My office



Baby Rooms




All designs were found at the Pottery Barn and West Elm websites.

Success!

When I originally added editing as my minor, the only thought going through my naive little head was of me tramping through the swampy jungle of [someone else's] bad grammar and punctuation. Maybe even a little layout design on the side. What I didn't expect was the full-on slap in the face from my dear friend, reality. Come to find out, with only three classes to go before graduation, the editing market is oversaturated and companies can basically pick and choose from thousands of hopeful, half-starved editors. My initial search for an internship seemed only in vain since 3/4 of the companies required at least a year of experience--for an internship--and the rest were internships that only the insane and suicidal would consider. (Sitting in a cubicle in front of a computer for ten hours a day proofreading phone book ads. Think about it. And I like proofreading.) I emerged from my BYU Magazine internship foray with a slightly bruised ego and the beginnings of what I call Doubt as to whether editing was a good job for someone who knew what they wanted in a job. Okay, I calmed down after awhile, only to have my fears resurface this summer when I realized graduation was less than a year away and I had yet to gain the sort of experience an internship provides. My latest attempt to eke some life into my minor was sending a resume to Deseret Book for their fall publishing internship. I thought I had a pretty good chance until after almost three weeks I hadn't heard from anyone and figured I was once again looked over for those with more experience (experience! where does one gain this all-important "experience"?). But today I checked my email in what I thought would be another fruitless delving into the emptiness of my in-box when lo and behold, an email from one Andrea Barker informed me that I was wanted at the Deseret Book offices to take their in-house editing test and to have an interview. Yay! I'm still dealing with the fact that they want me to come in on the 12th, which will be Day 2 of due diligence recon in Portland and Vancouver with Kristin, Cub, and mom's company. I told Andrea that I'm not available those days, but would be back the 15th, so let's hope that that sits kosher with her. I sure hope so. My minor and I can't take anymore "experienced" people edging in on our racket.

Guilty as charged.

The combination of the past two days of cloudiness and listening to a lot of Brand New has caused me to think about something, well, someone from my past that I'd promised myself I'd never go back to mentally. So far, so good. But lately I can't get him out of my mind and it's driving me crazy. I feel so guilty for how things ended between us, and now I want more than anything to make it right. Yet I know if I were even to approach this person, all guards would come up and it might even make things worse. And the thing that sucks the most was the fact that when I look back on how we were together, I can honestly say we had no problems, and probably never would have, if it hadn't been for my own neurotic and OCD mind. He was so kind and honest to me, and really the only person I've been able to tell anything to or discuss anything with without feeling like I'd be judged. Most of the time, like now, it makes me physically sick to think how I treated him. Hence the blocking. But not anymore. I feel I deserve everything I get and I hope that someday I can know he's forgiven me. Until then, I don't think I'll ever feel right.